Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A Billion Beauty Queens

Do they have the right to bomb any place they like on Earth? Certainly not...but who will stop them?

Like so many of you even I am against war, or any other heinous crime against the human race. But, war is a reality that we tend to forget. It is struggle for survival, rooted in the human rage, jealousy and violence. A peek into the history of Earth can substantiate my statement. Since ancient times we have been fighting for varied causes. Wars for independence, for food, lands plundered and destroyed for colonization and sheer show of power. Truth is - violence is a drug, and it is difficult to get rid of the addiction.

For some weird reason man has as urge to control. Not his own life, but that of others. Self control doesn't seem to manifest power. The might of mightiest is in annexing and capturing others, the losses that entail are hardly ever considered. He who was once opressed fights against his suppressors and frees himself. He spends some time fixing his life. Before he is able to do so, he realizes that he needs a hundred things to improve his condition, not all of which are available that easily. So what does he do now? Drop the thought of having his wish fulfilled? Should he think of something new that might be more readily available? Wait, there is one more option, that tiny thing out there, was boasting about it the other day. Amazing! His purpose is served. He enters the house forcefully, beats and kills those standing in his way and with his pillage returns back home with a happy smile. I guess the logic behind declaring a war is simple: in order for you to survive you need to make sure the predator doesn't wander near you . Thus, the prey turns predator. As I said, the losses that entail are not in consideration here.

We all know that there is no end to our wishes and desires. As a result, I don't see an end to this activity of war. Led by a few beautiful, beauty pageant contestants, a billion people shout " I want WORLD PEACE" even as we are on the brink of another War. If only the leaders of the world were a part of these billion. Sigh!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

With Love(oops!), Respect, to Mr. Muthalik

With all due love/affection/consideration (or just add any other word you might(not) sound offensive to you), I have a few things I wanted to tell you.

A lot has been said about you and your men after the Mangalore incident. I do not like this. It is obvious that you are unable to understand the true meaning of a Hindu and an Indian. It is obvious you are jealous of Amitabh Bacchan for hogging the limelight. Why should he have all the fun? If he can do a bold movie as Nishabd and stay in news, surely you are much more capable of lowering your standards (that is if you have any). I must say, you are giving him tough competition. He stopped after one debacle, but you are going strong, and with Valentine's Day approaching you are climbing the (un)popularity charts. You have become (un)popular across continents. Please, I urge you to read
my humble suggestions :

1) Why waste your talents over here? You are a great orator. Also, you are confident. Otherwise who would have said such atrocious things in public, even as the entire nation was watching. And these days orating skills are all that are necessary to become a President. Of course, not in India Sirji. Why not try your hand at it? Unlike Advani ji, you won't have to run your own campaign. Your Rama Sene people will do it for you.

2) Have you thought about acting, maybe part-time? If our Bollywood actors can become MPs
and hardly attend Parliament sessions, why can't our public figures become actors? After all you have a fan following bigger than Raj Babbar's and can put up quite a show.

3) Try your hand at writing. Maybe what is difficult to understand from your actions will be easier to understand through your words. You seem to be an authority when it comes to understanding Hindu religion. Let others benefit from your wisdom and knowledge. If Chetan Bhagat can sell his books filled with sh*$ , I am sure you will find a market for your work too.

4) Lastly, if you don't like any of the above, think about Parliament. Announce your candidature for Lok Sabha. A lot of criminals do.Every election . Even if no one wants you as their representative, I guess your boys will make sure you win. They will beat up every voter if he/she doesn't vote for you. No need to waste time and money. Beat up some government ministers and ask the government to make you an honorary member. Move a Bill in the Parliament. But yes, there you might find some problems. Not many of your fellow Parliamentarians will have the guts to support you on that. The Bill will be rejected. Never mind. You are not easily ashamed. So you fight. Move the bill again. Try harder. If the spineless gits in the Lower House agree with you this time, or you make them (of, course by beating them), you might stop westernization of our eastern civilization. Though you should be vary of the likes of Mallya who will be lobbying your fellow MPs. Their profits will be at stake after all!

I will pray to god for your sound mental health. I guess physical health and hygiene will be taken care of by endless supply of Pink chaddis you will be getting as gifts.

With love(oops!) Respect
A 20 something girl from Bangalore

As a single 20 something girl living in Bangalore I am forever scared of what I might face next. Staying away from home, I am working hard, and where I go to chill out or unwind is no one else's business. Last of all Mr. Muthalik. After a hard week, I feel the need to relax. I do not particularly like the family dramas and mindless comedies telecast on TV. I read before going to bed. So generally, during other times, I prefer sitting and having discussions with my friends. At dinner time we go out to eat. Well, we can't really talk can we? For starters, it is not good manners to talk with food in your mouth. Who knows hooligans of Rama Sene might come and bash me up for that. Secondly, the restaurant guys get pissed of if you sit there too long on a busy evening. For a country of a billion people we have surprisingly less number of eateries. So, now what do we do? Where do we sit and talk? The parks are too crowded and too cold in the night. Hey, I don't mind a drink and some nice music, so I move on to a pub.

Saari is the most gorgeous attire but I wear western clothes because I feel comfortable. I love lassi but I like Cola. I have seen F.R.I.E.N.D.S ten times, but I don't like watching Indian TV soaps. The reason is simple, the first one makes for a good laugh and has friendship as its backbone. Whereas, Indian TV soaps have bitching and spite as its theme. Who the hell are you to tell me what to do or not? Will you enter my living room and force me to watch these soaps?? How many people will you police and how many things will you stop?

If you so love your country, you should have started a campaign. I would have been the first one to support you. Generate a feeling of pride for our nation and not hatred for others. One line in Hindi spoken by some unknown aristocrat in some distant country makes you proud. जब बाहर वाले योग को अपनाते हैं तो आप फूले नहीं समाते हो| It is no more a part of their culture than Valentine's Day is of our culture. But, what is wrong if two people want to celebrate their love? Do they have to be married to do that? They love each other and by sitting together if they are showing it, so be it! They are merely showing you what exists there. If you don't like it, don't look at it. But NO ONE has given you the right to tell anyone what to do, let alone beat up women. And please show me our hindu literature which says that beating up women is justified and a part of our culture. It was a shameful act which reflects badly on our Indian culture and ethics. I would love to have a debate with the man who has the guts to bash up a group of women, for WHATEVER reason, and then shamelessly defend it!

मदिरा तब भी थी, मदिरा आज भी है| If you are so against it, lobby the ruling party to ban liquor.

Because you know what Mr. Muthalik, according to you , you have ethics but these pub going women don't. And they are proving it by this pub bharo and pink chaddi campaign. The latter is a very disgusting form of protest. But I guess when the center and state government sit quietly and watch women being harassed, these loose women have to fight for themselves. My guess is they will droop down to your level to teach you a lesson. वो क्या है ना, लातों के भूत बातों से नही मानते|

For you reference Mr। Muthalik:
--> I am an Indian
--> I am a proud Hindu
--> I don't drink
--> I don't smoke
--> I respect my fellow countrymen and women