Center and Focus

Earth revolves around the sun. The moon revolves around the earth and in the process revolves around the sun. But I am not on a quest to prove that I am smarter than a fifth grader. I am here to wonder aloud, yet again.

Do you ever feel that you are taking one step forward and two steps back? I feel that often, that is if I am going anywhere at all. And most of the time, I am just moving in circles. Talking about feelings, I feel we all move in circles. There is a center to our lives which is often fixed by us, and sometimes by our circumstances. But by no means would I say that these centers are fixed. They change - sometimes in a moment and sometimes it takes forever.

As a kid our world is centered around all those fun things that our parents wouldn't allow us to do. We have your crayons, our Lego blocks, our dolls, our miniature cars, our video games and our cartoon network to worry about. Every day, every hour and every wish involves these treasures. Goals and accomplishments are defined in terms of these baubles. Each laugh and each cry is the result of our accomplishments and how much closer we are to our goals.

I call them baubles now because they don't hold the same value anymore. The center of my world has shifted. It has been through many changes actually. I have heard (can't cite my experiences here since I don't have any!) that it does happen to everyone. The center moves, from parents to friends, to work, to bikes and cars and a home, to the person you build a home with, to kids, to travel and so on. Do you think we can have more than one? Or would that be a blunder? Am I wrong in calling it a center when it is just one of the focus. Could my life be an ellipse and not a circle? I am trying to find the answer, figure out where I am centered or focused right now.

Chomp! Chomp! Gator Chomp!

A lot has happened in the past couple of months, that I wanted to write about... Most of all about this new place- Gainesville. Well, its not that new anymore. Not that exciting to write about either at the moment. Mainly because the temperature is just not going down, and I am tired of the heat.

While I wait for the temperatures to drop, a lot of work is definitely being dropped on my shoulders. A constant in my life, as I sift through research papers, write project proposals only to redo them, try and concentrate on the lectures is Starbucks coffee. It is what they call the life of a graduate student. Even with all the work its not so bad out here. For one high speed internet is a boon - you don't really feel disconnected (and away from India) till the time you see an empty seat in the bus, the cars stop for you to cross the road and you shell out dollars on Indian spices.

Second, people of Gator Nation are mad about football- that too college football! Having experienced the cricket madness in India, it not surprising to see peole worship their sportstars. What really surprises you is the fact that these stars are freshmen and sophomores, really just college going kids. Its offensive if you talk about anything else on a gameday. Oh and God save you from the wrath of gators if you say you don't know Tebow! Another thing - the team mascot- Alligator. People actually love alligators. You can find one in this stream right next to my department building!

Being a small university town, its cosy in a weird way. My home, which is hardly 10 minutes drive from the university is considered to be outskirts! People are nice and relaxed, and their biggest tension is football. Ooh and obviously the crowd... being a university town, you meet students of so many nationalities... its a great cultural experience.

Right now the only thing that needs to be said - I am enjoying this leg of the journey...

The market that was

Well now that I am back in Delhi, suddenly there is so much work that needs to be done that I am unable to find time to write. I have my Visa Interview on 8th July and the prep is a big pain. If I list the documents that I need to carry to the American Consulate, it goes on to three pages... And they have their own specification of photographs etc. too. Pain!!

Shopping generally comes after you get your Visa and in my case I should seriously wait and not throw away all my money into new clothes and tit-bits till VI. I am not really sure of finances and it will only be prudent to wait. But you see all reasoning fails when you have money in your account and that too of own earning. So, two days back I dragged my mom to Lajpat Nagar. Its my favorite place to shop(and feast on lip-smacking chats!). Last time I came to this market was six months back, probably before I left for Bangalore, and it turned out to be really long time! And this time I was greeted by a crowd consisting mainly of small shop owners who put there stuff out on the roads and offer some really good value for money, and bargains. You see, Delhi government has set its goal to clean up the markets by removing these roadside shops. and police officers were busy implementing the orders in Lajpat Nagar. A good step to ensure citizen safety!


The market looks barren and unattractive for a shopper like me. All the roadside stalls have been removed. I know the drive to clean the market place is to make the shopping experience more orderly, easy and less chaotic, but I am a true blue lover of this 'chaos' in Delhi markets... Without these roadside shops, it just doesnt feel the same, it has become a desert and quite truly it lacks a lot of bargains, which I guess girls will appreciate more than boys ;)

Its over folks...

Its my last day as BITS student, last day in Bangalore, last day at HP Labs...

There was a nice farewell organised for the interns here. Very sweetly, we were told the important role that BITSians play in the research setup here. Importance of BITS and BITSians is obvious when you sit with 20 people out of which 9 are BITSians and rest are interns. I don't know if this is good or bad- the loss of individuality.

But BITS has given me a lot, and for that I am thankful. The thing about BITS is that it has shown me the path. It has been the guiding torch and the stepping stone. This is why it will continue to hold a special place irrespective of what the future holds for me. It has made me what I am today. I have learnt from my teachers and from my peers. I have made relationships I will cherish for the rest of my life. I have met some brilliant people. As I graduate, I carry with me a part of BITS. Right now, there are mixed feelings. I am proud to have BITS as my alma mater. But I will miss it a lot, at least in the near future.

PS: I am gonna be an Engineer, and a graduate from BITS Pilani - still can't believe it!!

Peace

Not calling me often, forgetting my birthday, taking away my favorite ice cream, making me wait for an hour in the scorching summer of Delhi, interrupting me mid-sentence, bitching about a friend of mine, being rude unnecessarily, disagreeing with me etc. are the various reasons I have picked up a fight. On almost all these occasions I have felt that my anger is justified. But then two hours later, after I have had the time to think things over, I realize the stupidity in fighting over these issues. In almost all the cases, the other person has a valid explanation. There are always two sides to a coin and in the moment of anger I forget to look at the other one.

Result: unnecessary unpleasantness

Thus, this whole exercise is a waste of energy and unnecessary rise in my blood pressure. Great health risk if you ask me! For a short tempered person like me its even worse- it happens so often! There is a lingering feeling of anger till five minutes after the fight. Five hours later, the whole episode leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I cool down soon enough. The underlying reason for these fights are generally not worth it - rarely justifying missing out on the good times. And with so much at stake I am left with no option but to apologize. The kind hearted people that I fight with, forgive me most of the times. Well sometimes others apologize too, and then I forgive them :) So I have decided to avoid these episodes altogether. It might get boring like the too-good-to-be-true happy families from Sooraj Barjatya's movies, but I am trying to get there nevertheless. Forgive and forget is the new rule