A Note from the Road

As the wheels roll down the road at 80 mph, eyes stare aimlessly into the distance. These early hours of morning when the sun is still snoozing and the thick curtain of fog still hangs in the air, my mind is wide awake. There is a dull moonlight in the sky, and something inside me is telling me this roll along the Florida highway I-75S and is the journey of a lifetime.

After a long time, I am not sitting in the front seat, behind the steering wheel focused on the road ahead, but instead in the back seat where I can let my mind wander. I am  relishing this rather mundane backdrop, an old man two seats ahead is snoring loudly, a two year old boy one seats across has been crying intermittently, several college students are curled up on the vacant seats with their hoodies over their face, and amongst all this is the soft rumble of the AC air vents and wheels on the road. Through the crests of this white noise, there is peace and quiet all around, just as I like.

I envision the journey ahead, over 24 hours. It is excruciating for the body and mind, sitting on an airplane, airport benches and taxi for so long. But the sight of the end result, the joy of meeting my loved ones, is what will undeniably keep me going. I feel happy I did not give in to all the logic and reasons to avoid this sojourn. The results promise to be worthy of the effort.

As I look away from my notepad, out of the window, we are passing by some beautiful land. There are extensive cornfields with rolls of dried corn hay stacks on the ground. The trees, each seems to have a personality of its own. Some tall, some short, some blooming and others shriveled up from the fleeting Florida fall weather. Even in the low early morning glow, I can identify the different shades of green, red, brown and yellow in the leaves. The speed of the bus is blurring the  deep grey pavement that guides us ahead. Multi-layer bridges criss-crossing the pavements, are like my thoughts, sometimes parallel and often intertwined.

There are so many makes and models and colors, oddly though, I see a lot of white cars on the road today. As we approach our destination, more cars are joining us on the highway and the sky is turning golden yellow. I assume these people are bound for same destination as me, lucky for them it is a shorter journey. Maybe I am wrong and their destination lies far ahead of mine. I pray they make it to their ends safely. 

A free of spirit just whizzed by on his bike. The strong wind blowing through his long brown hair, swept back with a blue bandana, makes me envious. Blue is my favorite color. Pick-up trucks and trailer vans are pulling along what is the dead weight of the caravan. In the slow lane, there are two big cargo trucks, hauling all this weight and baggage and don't dare race with the light travelers. One of them tries and heads down the road, swerving the trolley and endangering others. It makes me wonder - why does it even travel with so much weight? - wouldn't it be safer to distribute it across two smaller vehicles? I suspect it has something to do with economy of transport.

In the haze, I can't see more than a few hundred yards. Smooth and straight roads here and bumpy uneven ones in India - both have their own personalities and add to the fun. Right now I feel like closing my eyes and dozing off in the comfort of the first leg of this journey. A short nap it is!

Reaching Out

Words are powerful, and every now and then you come across a prose, a song or a book that makes you understand their power even more. Recently a lot has been on my mind, and it has been difficult to find a common theme to bring these myriad thoughts together to form something readable. I begin to write and then I drift away in my thoughts. On many occasions I have found the 'outside world' more engrossing. Not to mention that these days most of my 'thinking' is done while running. I have been shying away from the effort a little too, or maybe its too many diverse themes to my thoughts, but I have stayed away from this web space. And then recently I read Haruki Murakami's book and the words resonated with me in many different ways...

... No matter how much I write, I never reach a conclusion. And no matter how much I rewrite, I never reach the destination ...

Unable to find a worthy subject to dedicate myself to.

! Decide

FYI for those of you who want to pick up this hobby.

              de·cide/diˈsīd/Verb.Come to a resolution in the mind as a result of consideration.

Now and again I feel the need to come here. True I can maintain a diary for all my random and berserk ideas and save you guys some trouble, but what fun would it be? Plus, it feels good when I get thumbs down for my post - its an indication for me to move on from my 'current' madness.

The theme of my rantings today is decision making. If I could help it, I would just become a robot and let someone govern me. Decisions - every day, every second and each one of them of consequence. Leave the dinner choices for now, and you are still stuck with more questions than you can answer.

Decide what I like and what I don't. Decide if I should go get a job or am I are good in school. Decide whether I value my sleep more than my work. Decide if I value my work. Decide if I like my work. Decide if my not-so-fat paycheck is plenty. Decide if I am okay with others making more moolah then me. Decide if I care about money. Decide if I am okay with being just another one in the crowd sweating it out for money. Decide if I should set new goals for myself. Decide if I will care about these goals one year down the line. Decide if quitting my status quo would be too much trouble and I should just stick around. Decide if I care about the 'loser' tag my friends will attach to me if I do leave. Decide if I have it in me to change the 'loser' into a 'winner'. Decide if I care enough to stick to my goals and the change I just made. Decide if my gut feeling is the way to go. Decide why no one else sees eye to eye with me. Decide if everything I do is 'worth it'. Decide if it anything is 'worth it'. Decide if anyone is 'worth it'. And finally decide how often I want to make these decisions. Because even though I indulge in 'overthinking', if there exists such a thing, even after a lot of consideration, my pea sized brain is often unable to reach conclusions. Tired and worn out, it just goes off to sleep waiting for a new day to begin. And on those days of rare clarity, I decide that the only thing that matters is being in action. Comprehending and acting of everything else is more than my abilities.

On a related note, you might find this talk by Noreena Hertz interesting.

My running diary

A collection of my daily running experiences with Team Asha UFlorida at http://runningwithasha.blogspot.com/ . My goal is to run the a 15k in March. I will update the page every training day (with my progress). On the rest days, I will try and upload some interesting stuff about running.

Check it out!

Destiny's Child

It was one of those fall days, the time of the year when the chill in the gentle breeze, as it touches the skin, makes you shiver. At the same time the golden rays of the October sun hit your face and take away the cold, leaving behind a feeling of warmth that soon settles down deep in your heart. It has this amazing effect of uplifting your mood. The only side effects of this otherwise perfect weather is a sudden lack of concentration and an uncontrollable smile on your face.

As he made his way to his destination on that morning, he decided to walk a route he had never taken before. For the past twenty years, day after day, he had walked the same dusty road. He could walk the road blindfolded and avoid all the potholes. A hundred people took that road everyday and yet no one had bothered to repair those ditches. Over the years, he had become friends with many a passers-by, people he would greet with a smile each morning and evening. Maybe it was these familiar faces - making the present feel easy and secure or those sweet childhood memories of running down the road with his dad - a way of keeping the past alive, that prevented him from walking a different road. Whatever it was, he had never had a  reason to change his course.

Only today did a thought tinker in his head - he wanted to stray away from his usual course. A road took off from the one he walked everyday. There was no particular reason why he had stayed away from this path. It was one of those many things in your life you don't think about. In his head, that road just wasn't meant to be taken everyday, and maybe thats why it looked so appealing this Saturday morning. It seemed to lead in a different direction, and he wasn't sure how many people strayed that way. He had no idea where it lead, but even in this age of technology he didn't want to track his course. He wanted it to be a surprise, the adventurer in him suddenly wide awake. He wanted to explore the trail, lined on both sides with trees that seemed to reach the sky. Moreover, it was difficult to deny the invitation of those fiery red hues on the ground.

Mind made up, he changed his course and as he stepped on the ground, the crunch of the leaves beneath his foot broke into his heart. He could feel the layers peeling off. The morning haze at a distance prevented him from seeing far into the distance. But he didn't mind, there was a lot to survey in his proximity. Every sense in his lean body was indulged in taking in the surroundings and his heart was busy assimilating it.

No artist could have ever done justice to the brilliant colors in the trees. Sun rays were trying to break through the canopy above him, lighting up the path golden. He would have the image in his mind forever. Something about the place made him feel cozy and at peace. The restlessness of his everyday life had lifted. He did not realize when his walk turned into a jog. He looked from side to side, something exciting him no end, and yet his eyes could only see the never ending lines of trees.  As he walked on his heart beat started rising, as if he was onto discovering something big. With the pounding in his heart in sync with his footsteps, he started running. There was no knowing where he was headed, how long the road was and what might stop him in his way. He just ran, without any care. He knew if this was to the end now, even if he never ran again, he would be a content man. The untouched leaves told him he was the first one this season to take this road, and he was grinning from ear to ear. He just ran, and ran, and ran.

The smile on his face was still intact when he reached his destination. And all he did was kneel down on the dewy grass and cry.